My testimony

From the time I was 8 or 9 I was mad at God. This was due to my brother joining the Worldwide Church of God in 1974 or 1975 which at the time was a cult. They believed similarly to Jehovah Witnesses in that they don't celebrate Christmas or birthdays etc. To a 8-9 year old kid it was rather devastating. All my siblings(2 sisters, 1 brother) are way older than me by 17, 15, and 11 years. The 2 oldest had long been gone from the nest and the 1 still at home being in her late teens. I always looked forward to holidays and birthdays because we would all be together. A few years later, both of my sisters joined Jehovah Witness to complete my feeling of betrayal by God. Now I know it wasn't God but the enemy that was seperating my family.

My parents were of the belief that their kids should belive however they choose. So I recieved very little definitive guidance from them regarding God. So the resentment toward God remained.

Fast forward to my teenage years and after a period of being rudderless, I gave up. I gave up trying to find beliefs other than myself. Once out of high school the drinking and marijuana took over and after 5 or so years of bars and pot purchases, many failed relationships and a constant feeling of loneliness and emptyness I prayed. Through my tears I prayed to God for a soulmate. I gave him specific traits and not long after that along came my future wife and soulmate. She fit my requests to the letter. She is a lifelong believer and went to a pentecostal church. She got me to go because her ex-boyfriend went there too and he was harassing her. The first time in that church scared me. At one point I leaned over to her and said if they bring out snakes I am outta here!

I went to church but still kept my distance from God, kinda like a cool indifference. But still, things said got through and made sense to me consciously and sub-consciously. Around this time my cat, who had been my only source of love, joy and companionship prior to my future wife, got sick and I had to have him put to sleep. For the life of me I could not stop crying. I couldn't even take him to the vet, I was crying too hard to even drive. Some may laugh, but pet lovers understand. And remember I had little to no spiritual or philosophic legs to stand on. Well that day, I got some. That evening I was supposed to go to my future wifes house for a movie but I could not stop crying. This had gone on for several hours and I was getting desperate and more upset every second. Then, out of desperation and I'm sure some gentle prodding from the Holy Spirit, I cried out to God. I screamed "God if you are real, make me stop crying right now!!!" And, glory to God, I immediately stopped crying. My tears dried up completely. I instantly went through a range of emotions: happiness to be done crying, and then a slowly dawning realization that I had just called out God and He had answered! God was very real! After a few months of listening and reading God's Word, I gave my life to Jesus. And my life was changed. I went from a pathetic excuse of a drunkard and pothead to the first steps to becoming a real man. A man who loves others instead of just himself. A man who became aware that there is something much larger than my self and I was a part of it. My life went from the wide wrong path to the narrow right path. I'd like to say I never strayed from that path but I can't. But I am still here and I am blessed. Not because I deserve it, I don't, but because of the gift of grace from God the Father and His only begotten Son, Jesus. My life has order, my life has love, my life has meaning, and my life has peace.

Thank you God the Father. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Holy Spirit.

Check out this cool site I just discovered. Here's the link to my profile there.